I am seating in the plane to Bucharest to play the very last concert with euyo. Weird feeling. I am still on high with the previous one in Dubai where we have played Rachmaninov 2nd Symphony with Vasily Petrenko. The concert again exceeded my expectations, again I have experienced that what we call„euyo spirit” (about „euyo spirit” later on).
My first time was in summer 2014. Since that time I have changed a lot. This frame of four years provokes me to make kind of honest summary: what I have learnt? Which expectations and visions I had at the beginning and what I can see now? What is the factor that makes peoples’ life „before euyo” and „after”?
Let me start form the beginning of my story. I have heard about euyo from my polish friends who got there few years before me. There was a big interview in one of the music magazine with nice photo of proud musicians.They have described it as a unique experience. I had a vision of euyo as non achievable olymp of the orchestra experience. I have tried auditioning several times, but I always ended up on the reserve list. I remember the day when I got email from Ben Noakes – euyo’s manager at the time. I was at Miami Summer Music Festival and the moment I got message I was working on my computer. That was „first come first served” question to all people from reserve list – I wrote back so fast so I sent reply full of misspelled words, trying my the fastest tempo of typing:)… and then the adventure began.
I came to Krems straight from Miami. I did not have much time to prepare my part so very first days I kept asking myself if I am good enough to be there. Also, my first impression was that everyone knows each other already – there was also a limited group of people who were talking about memories from previous tours , some „euyo traditions” and jokes I didn’t get. I felt I was welcomed but in the back of my head had a label: „from the reserve list”, which was actually made by myself. I didn’t feel I’m allowed to interact with people from the „friends bound”.
My „don’t mess up” attitude was broken for the first time by Marschall Marcus welcoming speech. He said very important words, especially to people who felt like me, that they came to golden place of established level of playing and friendship. He said: „don’t be scared of making failures, think how high you can go and what you can give.” This is very important to realise, when we entering something in our mind bigger than us, we try to fit to deserve by „not doing” mistakes, but actually we’re blocking ourselves of our true potential which can be only released by trying. Instead of question „am I good enough for this orchestra” appears another „Am I making enough effort to give what I have the best?”.
Day by day I was discovering new things about euyo and also how is to be the part of good orchestra. As a child of an orchestral musician I used to go on each symphonic concert in my hometown, growing up with the environment of philharmonic. My picture of the best orchestras was focused mainly at the precision and being perfect. Being cheerful at the stage I found childish and unprofessional. Also, in my music school I’ve heard a lot of times that I shouldn’t move so much seating in the orchestra. That what I saw in euyo was: pure joy of playing music, that technique is not the aim but the tool, I saw a lot of movement which actually helps enriching quality of sound. Those things were general ones which stayed with me after my first tour. Also I have discovered some of my hidden needs of expression – not only in musical way, but also body expression in contact with other people. I grown up in Poland where touching people, hugging suppose to mean more than only friendship. I have learnt that actually you can express your joy of hanging out with people, of the friendship unity by physical gestures and I didn’t realise, that before euyo, I was blocking that natural behaviour.
I can’t really be enough thankful for meeting such an amazing and inspiring people I’ve met at euyo. All tutors and conductors provoked us to go further, to get to higher level not because of the fight for technique but thanks to aiming for integrity with the body, with music, emotions and musical material. Among them is Lorenza Borrani, Oliver Kipp, Peter Stark, Zolt Vissontay. Each tour I made notes so I can share with some inspirations and lessons I have learnt not only about music.
I really love the way Oliver Kipp was making 2nd violin section BGO (Best Group of the Orchestra:) We were changing leaders to feel the spirit of being equally important in the group (no one is a passenger in the bus!), we were singing to follow the natural shape of phrase not our hands which are based on technical limitations. I have also learnt very important fact, that good ensemble is led from the back – which means that musicians sitting in the back play their significant role in energy distribution and inner drive of the orchestra.
His great mission was to teach us how to collaborate with our bodies instead of being against them: to keep inner pulse in the heart and extreme legato in hands (exactly like in life!), to follow breathe before the note, to understand how to make a use of breathe even you are string player, that playing piano is to be even more transparent and expressive, that getting the essence of music is to transmit through body the real character of the music which is already inside us.
I remember also sectionals with Lorenza Borrani. She used to say: „it’s not about the commitment – it’s about delivering the sound. Never leave the connection with the string.” Another time she said: „We all can play the notes – it is a matter of discovering the meaning that works only if we know the relation between them.” (how brilliantly it can be referred to social life!)
One of the most inspiring person was unquestionably Peter Stark. I noted many quotes from his rehearsals. Here are some of them:
- about the sound : „plan, prepare, play, evaluate, adjust, enjoy”.
- „It’s not about the speed, it’s about intensity.”
- „The greatest wild is controlled.”
- „Use the time before the note. Take time to make choice how it will sound like.”
- about beginning of the piece: „I hate word „down”. The only direction is upward. You have to make the music lifted.”
- „One of the most important thing is speed of the piece. Don’t forget about your heart, your inner pulse.”
- „Conducting is not about giving the beat. Conductor is a surfer on the music wave. He has to know how to balance. He has to let the musicians speak to each other.”
- on difficult passages : „Please smile there!” :)) (I use it many times with my students and it always works!)
Each tour with euyo was different. People are different, places and time is different, I am changing and this is natural. However everything seems to move forward, the core or the spirit of the orchestra was kept. How is it possible to transfer this through the years and generations? What it actually means?
During this last tour I’ve made decision to record some conversations, little interviews with euyo players and staff (I hope I will find time to write it down and share with everyone). We’ve talked about many different things, not only directly referring to music. I’ve decided to avoid answering question „what’s the euro spirit” following the status of the organisation, description at website, and lines that seem to be proper for respond. I thought, that getting closer to people which actually ARE the euro right NOW, can give me the answer. Now I can say, that even if those people have different point of view, lifestyle, motivation, they are united in one hidden desire: to feel unity, to feel they have significant contribution in aiming for meaning, that being part of the big group makes their voice not weaker but even stronger. Someone can say that this is „teenagers” attitude and in money-focused world is simply naive, that nowadays the only one way to survive is to watching your own, individual business. Maybe. I claim it is naive to think that people don’t need solidarity approach anymore. Describing euyo spirit in one sentence would be: unity in searching for meaning and power in music.
I am already graduated musician – working with many professionals orchestras and ensembles as an extra violinist. Now I can see how grown-up world often looks like: you need to take care of your income, time spent on each project and rehearsal, you are starting to build serious relationships, even your own family, you are trying to balance your professional and personal life. That all made all priorities changed. You are starting to think that the only one person who is responsible of your life’s picture is YOU. No one demands from you anything, neither your professor nor academy. In that important stage of my life my biggest discovery was that I AM MY LIFE, that nobody will make my life, my professional environment be a place I want to identify with. I have also noticed that this requires an extra strength, because my stand partner, my boss or my neighbour might have different priority, or simply doesn’t care or believe in values I stand for. Being part of the EUYO and the same being a part of a „real” life makes me appreciate more and more the thing I’ve found here: a unique and somehow unreal idylla of brotherhood in music. This is the thing I might never experience anymore, but at least gives me motivation and faith I am not alone with this need and this attitude is possible. EUYO experience is not only a privilege, it is also responsibility, that once you’ve experienced „the spirit” you need to share it with others, no matter in which life circumstances you are RIGHT NOW, in THIS MOMENT.
I am writing this line after the last concert. I need to admit – I don’t cry often, but this time was an exception and I cried a lot on stage in Bucharest. In the plane back to Poland I sat with Emily Davis, who also played for the last time, so we managed to talk about our feelings. She cried too. We both agreed that those tears weren’t because something will never happen again or we will never have brilliant concerts in our professional life. That was a direct reaction of feeling GRATEFULNESS, that we were very lucky being a part of something exceptional, being a part of the EUYO family.
Resonance 